Becoming a better man isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about progress. It’s about choosing, every single day, to strive for integrity, strength, and humility. Through my years as an elite athlete, frontline police officer, coach, mentor, leadership instructor, and author, I’ve learned that the journey to becoming a better man is forged through discipline, service, and resilience.
This journey has been far from easy. At times, it’s been paralyzing, testing my resolve and demanding sacrifices. It’s required me to face my fears head-on. Yet, every challenge I’ve faced has taught me something invaluable. On the other side of failure lies an incredible opportunity to learn. Some of my greatest accomplishments stem from my deepest struggles.
If you’re ready to #RiseUpAndExcel above mediocrity and live with purpose, here are the lessons that have shaped my life and can inspire yours.
- Define Your Core Values:
At the heart of every great man is a foundation built on values. Your values are your compass, guiding decisions and shaping your character. For me, values like integrity, honesty, accountability, resilience, and service have been non-negotiable.
Living by your values means standing firm in who you are, even when life gets difficult. During my time as a frontline police officer, I often faced situations that tested my moral resolve. Having a clear understanding of my core values gave me the strength to act decisively and ethically, even under immense pressure.
Take time to define your values. Write them down, reflect on them, and let them guide your actions.
Reflect: What are your core values? Are you living in alignment with them?
- Choose Hard Work Over Talent
As my friend EJ McGuire once said, “You can always outwork talent, but talent can’t beat work ethic.” Talent may provide a head start, but hard work is what keeps you in the race.
As a varsity athlete competing in football and wrestling at the University of Guelph, or coaching with the Guelph Storm, I learned firsthand that consistent effort and perseverance always pay off. Talent alone can only take you so far; it’s grit and discipline that set you apart.
In life, there are no shortcuts to success. Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal growth, hard work builds character and creates a legacy that talent never will.
Reflect: Where can you double down on effort to outwork your challenges?
- Build Resilience
Life will challenge you and knock you down, but how you respond defines you. I’ve faced significant adversity, including the mental health struggles that came with frontline policing and my journey with PTSD. For years, I tried to run from myself, only to crash when I could no longer carry the weight.
Resilience isn’t about avoiding challenges; it’s about rising through them and learning from them. My wife, Michelle, our service dog, Arizona “Zoe,” my family, and closest friends have been instrumental in helping me navigate this path. Their unwavering support reminds me that resilience isn’t a solo endeavor—it’s built on the strength of connections with others.
To build resilience, start by acknowledging your struggles. Be honest about where you are and where you want to be. Seek help when you need it, and surround yourself with people who lift you up.
Reflect: How do you respond to challenges, and how can you build resilience in your life?
- Serve Others
Some of life’s most rewarding moments come from serving others. Whether mentoring young leaders, coaching Special Olympics athletes, or supporting my community, I’ve learned that giving back deepens your character.
Leadership, at its core, is about service. It’s not about ego or recognition; it’s about empowering others and leading with humility. Coaching Special Olympics athletes taught me the transformative power of encouragement. These athletes reminded me that everyone has untapped potential, waiting to be unlocked.
Be the kind of man who lifts others up. When you lead with a servant’s heart, you create ripples of positive impact that extend far beyond yourself.
Reflect: How can you use your skills and time to serve others this week?
- Take Responsibility for Your Growth
Don’t wait for life to happen—make it happen. No one can improve your life for you. Growth starts with setting clear goals, embracing feedback, and committing to lifelong learning.
Reflection has been a powerful tool in my personal growth. Whether through journaling, meditation, or quiet introspection, taking time to assess my actions has helped me stay aligned with my values.
Leadership and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Who you are today isn’t who you’ll be tomorrow—but only if you take responsibility for your evolution.
Reflect: What steps can you take today to improve your future self?
- Cultivate Gratitude and Humility
Gratitude and humility are essential virtues for becoming a better man. Gratitude reminds us to appreciate what we have, while humility keeps us grounded.
My journey with PTSD has taught me to find gratitude in small moments—a quiet morning with Michelle, a walk with Arizona, or laughter with my daughters and closest friends. These moments remind me that life is about relationships and experiences, not achievements.
Humility, on the other hand, is about recognizing that we don’t have all the answers. It’s about valuing the contributions of others and being open to learning. A humble man is strong because he understands that strength lies in collaboration, not control.
Reflect: What are you most grateful for, and how can you practice humility in your daily life?
Final Thoughts
Becoming a better man doesn’t mean being flawless—it means striving for progress. It means showing up for yourself and others, even when it’s difficult.
The world needs men who are resilient, hardworking, and committed to service. Men who lead with humility, live with purpose, and inspire others to be their best.
This journey starts with a choice—a choice to be better today than you were yesterday.
So, will you answer the call?
Bio:
Douglas P. Pflug is a nationally recognized Executive Leadership Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Podcaster, and Author with over 35 years of distinguished service in law enforcement, elite athletic coaching, and leadership development.
He can be reached at: ironwill360leadership@gmail.com