Bag-Aholism – Umberto Tunesi

I sincerely thank Greg Hutchins, a fairly recent and very promising acquaintance of mine, for having introduced me to this terminology.

It is often said – among males – that the human equivalent of snails – obviously not in terms of slowness, since the human equivalent tend to move disturbingly too rapidly, especially when driving their male partner’s car … – are women.

When a woman moves, she takes more stuff from her house with her.

My wife and me went to Croatia for a two weeks summer sea holiday in Croatia, with two friends, a he and his female date. While he brought with him a – normal, according to males’ statistics – one by one by two feet bag, she had a one by two by four feet bag … My car, on which we travelled, was packed to the limit.

My wife: she’s a good, wise woman; but she starts packing her things two weeks before departure, which makes the journey planning a bit awkward. And, once more, two thirds of the garments she brings with her stay unused.

LESSONS LEARNED
But we – professional men – have to learn from these lessons.

What risks are bag-aholic ladies afraid of? Were they mothers, they would be expected to maintain  their children presentable. But when they are no mother? Or when their “children” are grown up enough to wear worn jeans and T-shirts, and don’t give a damn when they are dirtier than pigs?

There must be some deeper motivation.

Let’s do some analysis.  Ishikawa permitting, I allocate the bag-aholism effect to the following key causes:

  • Machines:  Any piece of equipment is a potential risk for garments, it can cause any damage. As in any wisely designed chemical plant, a three-times redundancy approach is strongly recommended, though expensive and space consuming may be.
  • Manpower:  There is a basic interaction approach: the she and the others. Just think of a bar or restaurant waiter spilling a drink or a sauce on the lady’s dress. She has to change, as soon as possible.
  • Materials:  Ladies’ dresses are nowadays light-years apart from Nature; cotton, linen, wool are unknown to fashion designers, especially Italian and French. Pity that they are too trendy, they live on stains, and they cannot be quickly and easily washed, like a male’s T-shirt or jeans. They need change.
  • Methods:  This is a quite difficult cause to detect; but when a lady, like my wife, or my mother, breaks a coffee cup every week, or her leg when biking against a car, you do expect anything to happen. And  bandage and hospital pajamas must not be forgotten, in a wise lady’s travel bag.
  • Environment:  Meteo’s are becoming more and more like football or baseball news. “What will be the weather like? “ is the most common question when adventuring in any journey. So ladies put in their travel bag one inch thick pullovers when flying to Maldives, and even much thicker when flying to Iceland.

A friend of mine went to Santo Domingo with his “fresh” wife for their honeymoon. After dinner, they romantically walked along the seaside; he was wearing shorts and slippers, breast-naked; she wore long cotton trousers, shoes, T-shirt, shirt and a wool sweater – and she was feeling “just right”.

In short, what males think of risk is totally different from women. And traveling bags are a meaningful sign.

A friend of mine, when he left for his one-month summer holiday, just brought a toothbrush with him, nothing else: he would find all he would need “on site”.

Let’s be careful on this, dear risk-processing friends: if a rose is a rose is a rose, not for any- and every-body a risk is a risk is a risk.

Thank you.