I always take questions at the end of my talks, and recently I distinctly remember a woman in the back of the room that said, ” Elizabeth, I attended one of your talks recently, and you told us about the monkey in our heads. That really helped me. Can you tell that story again?”
So here goes:
Your mind is like a monkey. It goes from thought to thought for hours on end. It rattles on so much that we often don’t have any idea about what is going on up there at all.
In fact, we often think we are our thoughts.
We think I AM ANGRY or I AM HAPPY but none of that is the truth.
You are not your thoughts.
You identify with the thought, and that is the problem. The problem is not stopping your thoughts. It’s impossible to stop the mind. Recently I read that in any given day a person has 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts and more than 70% are negative. The better approach is to make friends with your mind and the thoughts.
The monkey is the thought.
Each thought runs wild like a monkey swinging from branch to branch. If the monkey is not monitored, your monkey (thoughts) will go wild. Consider your mind the cage and your thoughts the monkey, who runs from thing to thing, never satisfied.
The mind is nearly never satisfied and if it is, it is not satisfied for very long. Instead it grasps for the next problem to solve or the next issue to find.
The monkey runs you.
And what do you suppose happens when a monkey is left unattended in the cage?
The monkey throws poo and bananas all over the cage. You don’t want a mind like that, do you? Do you want your mind and eventually your life (which reflects your mind) to be a total stinky mess?
No, of course not.
So, don’t feed the monkeys in your head. Ever.
It’s your job to not feed the monkeys, and it’s a full-time job, without weekends off, no holidays, no smoke breaks, no time off for good behavior. Mind your mind, or someone else will. Likely it will be your monkey that takes possession of your mind.
For women and honestly, I’d say most people – the monkey is the thought that tells you that you are fat or ugly, or not smart enough, or don’t have innovative ideas at work. All of us have monkeys, but it’s an interesting process to slow down enough to see the monkeys and to start to disassociate from your mind.
Trust me, I’ve done this with a lot of success. Women’s monkeys are very damaging in the cage for they perpetuate every false idea they have ever had about them.
Oh, and one other thing, in case you haven’t noticed – the monkey always lies to you.
There is virtually nothing that goes on in your mind that is ever good.
The problem is twofold: you don’t know that you have monkeys (bad thoughts), and you don’t know you are feeding them (by believing your mind and making that story your identity), and therefore you buy into the lies.
You are not your thoughts.
Therefore, you must never feed the monkey.
The mind is jumping about, like an animal, piddling on the floor, jumping from thing to thing, and basically out of control. Until it’s harnessed, and one makes friends with their mind, they are a slave to circumstances, most of which started within the vain components of the mind, before it manifested into reality. Women fall into victim hood easily. All of us do it. Many powerful people that I’ve met at work had a mind that worked overtime and caused them a lot of agony.
Lack of confidence is nothing but a product your mind creates and it pains me to council some of the most fabulous women I’ve ever worked with and see their mental suffering around work.
The thoughts are:
Why didn’t I get promoted?
Why can’t I do this? I’ve done harder things in life.
Why doesn’t she like me?
Does my boss have it in for me? Why?
Seven years ago I was tired of myself and tired of my mind. The thoughts around work were so painful and paranoid that I had to get to the root cause.
Since then, my interest is no longer my career, my money, my accomplishments or anything else. I took a short cut. I don’t believe any of those things are “me”.
My sole interest is mastery of my mind.
That is the root of all pain, suffering and illusion – especially at work.
Join me.
If you really want advancement at work or in any other part of your life – mind your mind.
One of my favorite quotes is as follows:
“The problem is not with life. The problem is you haven’t taken charge of your mind.” -—sadguru, Isha Foundation
BIO:
Elizabeth Lions is the author of three business books entitled “Recession Proof Yourself” and ” I Quit! Working For You Isn’t Working For Me.” In the fall 2017, she launched a women’s leadership book, entitled, “Hear Us Roar – Unapologetic Women Leading In Corporate America”. She is an author, coach and wise adviser to some of the largest high tech companies in the United States. She also has the privilege of teaching and developing leaders in the United States, Middle East and Europe.
In fact, she has the best job in the whole wide world.
“Work” isn’t work to Elizabeth.
For more about her philosophy and programs – and even a video clip or two please visit www.elizabethlions.com