Recently, I was again introduced to the concept of ‘one-way communication’ whereby one person sends a message, but no allowance is made for any clarifications queries or discussion by any recipient.  For the sender such a singular approach obviates any interaction with those exposed to such a transmission no matter if it’s acted upon, understood, or even just acknowledged.

Such extreme behaviour is a perverse example of communication.  One message may have been sent but another glaring intent has been transmitted.

Communication is not just about what has been sent and how but all too often why and by whom.  By knowing the who and the why the real the purpose and intent of the communication may be understood.

Sent…

Everything communicates in one manner or another.  In the classic communication model people send direct messages to one another but we also have a constant bombardment of data from other sources.  News, social media, and advertising as well as overheard conversations and the general hustle and bustle of everyday life all send messages of some sort.  Some are real, some are fake and some are ambiguous.

But it’s not just about people.  Everything communicates although the medium of their communication may not be readily apparent.  Flora, fauna, the atmosphere, and the oceans as well as soils, rocks and minerals can communicate.  Farmers, biologists, climatologists, oceanographers, and geologists can read the signs of such messages and the subtle messages that Mother Earth continuously sends.  The weather sends messages as to whether there will be a calm or a storm and, from the heavens, galaxies and bygone stars are on constant send.

Everything is sending messages all the time it’s just a matter of those messages being received, or not and a realisation that communication has been initiated.

Received!

Receiving any communication depends on two things: having the same frequency as the sender and, possibly most importantly, being open to reception.

Just because communication is instigated it doesn’t mean it will be received.  For those who are not open to reception “it fell on deaf ears” and nobody listens; obviously, the frequency is wrong.  On the other hand, if a recipient knowingly ignores a communication a ‘blind eye’ or ‘deaf ear is turned’ and communication has failed.

Communication requires not only a send button but also a desire for receipt of a transmission as well as understanding the transmission.

Understood?

Understanding is perhaps the hardest part of communication.  Messages are sent and received but how often is there a failure to comprehend their real meaning.  This is not in respect of, say, engineering whereby engineering drawings and specifications are produced to be followed (and the intent or ambiguity clarified) by other engineers but more in the form of the direct communication that occurs between people.

People say one thing and mean another.  Words are guarded and speech is veiled.  Sometimes the communication carries with it an underlying message of “don’t talk to me”, or “I’m not happy”, or “I’m out of my depth and struggling” or “I’m not sure”. Reading between the lines and seeing the unwritten word may require more than just accepting communication at face value and a need to make the effort to understand it.

Steven Covey in his “Seven Habits” advocated that successful people who wish to be understood should first seek to understand.  This calls for listening to others without interrupting, seeking clarification, and being straight.  From a communication perspective this can require far more receiving than sending.

Conclusion

We listen but we may not hear, we look but we may not see, and we read but the words don’t always sink in.

There are many sources of communication, and many are in constant send mode, but very few people are in constant receive mode.  If communication isn’t received, or is ignored, or is not understood and no attempts are made to clarify matters than effective communication hasn’t happened.

Let’s go back to the advocate of “one way communication.”  As an extreme there is no possibility of any understanding.  Most people don’t like bad news and choose to ignore things while others spin the good and hide the bad.  Any “one way communicator” remains oblivious as to the ineffectiveness of their efforts.  In so doing they are none the wiser as to knowledge being locked-out and that key to understanding, communication, is lost.

Bio:

Malcolm Peart is an UK Chartered Engineer & Chartered Geologist with over thirty-five years’ international experience in multicultural environments on large multidisciplinary infrastructure projects including rail, metro, hydro, airports, tunnels, roads and bridges. Skills include project management, contract administration & procurement, and design & construction management skills as Client, Consultant, and Contractor.